Watching for outcomes on the frontier
Jock Asiimwe makes his assessment

There comes a time in all our lives when we have to make a decision as to what we want to do. So, in line with various government initiatives, we were visited by the Department of Employment, Education, Training and Youth Affairs (DEETYA).
Actually, on the frontier, it is usually only government departments and contractors who visit. The drive does wonders for them, the fresh air of the outback, and the time away from the office.
They leave at 8:00 am of a Monday morning, and arrive back at 4:21 pm. In between, they visit numerous communities, rough it around the campfire, and after they have made it to Nudjaburra the rough way, need some recuperation time at Hell's Gate Roadhouse.
Anyway, the blokes from DEETYA were very convincing - no education, no career. Norma, our cow, took this matter very serious, after all she is in her late teens (using cow years) and she does not enjoy the prospect of the unemployment line - which for a cow, means day after day of standing around, mulling on the grass - not all that different to humans really.
Well, Norma thought for a while what she would like to do, and settled on psychology. At first I was a bit sceptical about the idea, but she has always been a keen observer of human nature, and DEETYA pay her Oxstudy. She is really doing well in her course, and, I must proudly announce, has quickly moved into the research stage.
Currently the University have her doing a paper on "The collective reasoning of ringers when confronted with the task of keeping a cow out of the garden". Gerald and Larry, ever keen to see the younger ones get ahead with their education, offered their services as willing participants.
The first test was to put a rope up across the verandah. Gerald put it too high, and Norma quickly demonstrated how easy it was to get under. Larry lowered it, Norma demonstrated the Roadhouse method of jumping it.
Gerald added a cowbell, to let him know when Norma tried to get over or under, Norma just teased him by knocking the bell every time Gerald went around to the other side of the verandah to sleep in the shade. True to Pavlov's theory, Gerald and Larry were salivating at the sound of it.
The dogs meanwhile, decided to add a new parameter to the experiment, by raising a ruckus, and adding to the confusion. Needless to say, no one appreciated their boisterous efforts, and they were put on the detention list.
Norma has continued to trial various research methods on Larry and Gerald, but sadly, they continue to fail in all areas. She has suggested a CAT scan, so she can verify what (if anything) she is working with. Gerald said he had a CAT scan once, but it was a mangy old tom cat, and Gerald said he needed lots of beer-caine anaesthetic to take the pain out of the scratches.
Meanwhile, Norma continues to observe all the human behaviour she can, I've never seen a cow so interested in learning. Why just the other night, as we watched Jupiter rise in our telescope, there she was, anxious to have a look. Between you and I, I reckon she is planning a moon shot. After all, if the Russians can put a dog into space, the US a monkey, and Jim Henson's Muppets Miss Piggy, Norma's in with a chance. In fact, Larry is already working on the engines. He says he has the most powerful propulsion system known to man - four Tennant Creek youths on 'P' plates driving V8 Falcons. Gerald is working on a fibro-cement spacer module, and to save room, he is inclining a corrugated iron outhouse. Flying Aussie turds will be the latest hazard in the cosmos. "One small step for man...arrrgh...shit!"
Till next time, yours in the outback (avoiding looking skyward).