COMMENT

So whose head
goes on the money?

The recent Constitutional Convention has at least got people talking about the possibility of change. The following is an exchange between two such people in a Canberra taxi recently.

Taxi Driver: Where've you been mate?

Passenger: Down at the constitutional convention watching the circus.

Taxi Driver: Stone the crows, it sure was. All that time and money spent and what do we get for it? I mean, really if you look at the way this country is governed we are a republic already in everything but name.

Passenger: What about the Queen, she's our head of state.

Taxi Driver: Sure mate, sure ... but she doesn't actually do anything does she. No King or Queen of England has had any say in the running of Australia in nearly 100 years.

Passenger: Oh yeah, what about the dismissal of Whitlam by Kerr in 1975?

Taxi Driver: True mate, Kerr was the 'Queens representative' and he did chuck out an elected government, but it wasn't the Queen's idea.
Whitlam got up the noses of the Australian establishment, he challenged them to a duel and they shot him. Kerr did what he was told to do but it didn't come from Buckingham Palace.

Passenger: So you reckon we shouldn't become a republic?

Taxi Driver: Bloody oath we should, like I said before though, why make a big deal about it? We are running as a republic already. All we need to do is to cut the cord to Britain officially and we're on our own.

Passenger: The monarchists want to maintain our ties to Britain and to keep our constitution as it is, what do you say to them?

Taxi Driver: I say "Look around you, the colony has grown up. We don't need overseers or masters any more." My family didn't come from Britain anyway, and that goes for most of my suburb, so 'God save the Queen' has never brought a lump to any throats in our street.

Passenger: I suppose we should have a popularly elected president then, eh, otherwise we'll just get another politician's mate in the job.

Taxi Driver: Ah, now that's a different matter. A president elected directly by the people sounds good in theory but how would it actually work? I don't want to see the Governor General replaced with a president who's got any real power. I reckon that's a recipe for disaster; you think of all the people you know, whether you like them or not, who have a following great enough to win a ballot for President of Australia.
Ray Martin? Mark Taylor? Kylie Minogue? Pauline Hanson? Edna Everage?
Would you want any of these popular people having a say in the running of the country? Bloody hell, I wouldn't!

Passenger: So you don't want a president?

Taxi Driver: Not one with any power. We don't need a Governor because we're not a prison any more but we don't need a president either. I reckon what we need is more a sort of doorman. Someone who looks good in a snazzy uniform, meets visiting dignitaries at the airport and escorts them to reception.
I don't mean to sound snobby, but you'd have to have someone who knows how to lay out the silver and chat up visiting dignitaries, if you know what I mean. You see, 'the people' might elect a popular yobbo who'll tell one of our northern neighbours exactly what we think of their political system and then we'd all be stuffed.

Passenger: So what's your preferred model?

Taxi Driver: Let's thank the Queen for the Westminster system of government, the English language and the Ashes, wish her our best, drop in anytime you're passing, cheerio old girl and goodbye. Change our Constitution to remove all references to the Crown and make the Australian Courts ultimately responsible for our laws. Strip the Governor General of any power to meddle in politics, maybe change the title to chancellor or something; I reckon president sounds to important.

Passenger: So what about the flag and the head on the money?

Taxi Driver: Get rid of them. Look, it's no big deal taking the Union Jack off our flag. Die hard followers of St George probably had kittens when they were told that St Andrew's cross was to go on as well and God knows what they felt when St Patrick jumped on.
It's not our own flag. It's a flag which symbolises a small outpost of the British Empire under the southern sky. It's not relevant anymore to have the Union Jack on our flag but the rest of the flag is just fine. I know some people will think this disrespectful to Australians who have died under our current flag but it is not so. Many countries of the world have updated their flags for one reason or another, there's no harm in it. As far as the money goes, we could put the head of the Australian of the Year on the coins for that year or something like that.

Passenger: Thanks mate, I think I'll get off here.

So whose head goes on the money? The recent Constitutional Convention has at least got people talking about the possibility of change. The following is an exchange between two such people in a Canberra taxi recently. Taxi Driver: Where've you been mate? Passenger: Down at the constitutional convention watching the circus. Taxi Driver: Stone the crows, it sure was. All that time and money spent and what do we get for it? I mean, really if you look at the way this country is governed we are a republic already in everything but name. Passenger: What about the Queen, she's our head of state. Taxi Driver: Sure mate, sure ... but she doesn't actually do anything does she. No King or Queen of England has had any say in the running of Australia in nearly 100 years. Passenger: Oh yeah, what about the dismissal of Whitlam by Kerr in 1975? Taxi Driver: True mate, Kerr was the 'Queens representative' and he did chuck out an elected government, but it wasn't the Queen's idea. Whitlam got up the noses of the Australian establishment, he challenged them to a duel and they shot him. Kerr did what he was told to do but it didn't come from Buckingham Palace. Passenger: So you reckon we shouldn't become a republic? Taxi Driver: Bloody oath we should, like I said before though, why make a big deal about it? We are running as a republic already. All we need to do is to cut the cord to Britain officially and we're on our own. Passenger: The monarchists want to maintain our ties to Britain and to keep our constitution as it is, what do you say to them? Taxi Driver: I say "Look around you, the colony has grown up. We don't need overseers or masters any more." My family didn't come from Britain anyway, and that goes for most of my suburb, so 'God save the Queen' has never brought a lump to any throats in our street. Passenger: I suppose we should have a popularly elected president then, eh, otherwise we'll just get another politician's mate in the job. Taxi Driver: Ah, now that's a different matter. A president elected directly by the people sounds good in theory but how would it actually work? I don't want to see the Governor General replaced with a president who's got any real power. I reckon that's a recipe for disaster; you think of all the people you know, whether you like them or not, who have a following great enough to win a ballot for President of Australia. Ray Martin? Mark Taylor? Kylie Minogue? Pauline Hanson? Edna Everage? Would you want any of these popular people having a say in the running of the country? Bloody hell, I wouldn't! Passenger: So you don't want a president? Taxi Driver: Not one with any power. We don't need a Governor because we're not a prison any more but we don't need a president either. I reckon what we need is more a sort of doorman. Someone who looks good in a snazzy uniform, meets visiting dignitaries at the airport and escorts them to reception. I don't mean to sound snobby, but you'd have to have someone who knows how to lay out the silver and chat up visiting dignitaries, if you know what I mean. You see, 'the people' might elect a popular yobbo who'll tell one of our northern neighbours exactly what we think of their political system and then we'd all be stuffed. Passenger: So what's your preferred model? Taxi Driver: Let's thank the Queen for the Westminster system of government, the English language and the Ashes, wish her our best, drop in anytime you're passing, cheerio old girl and goodbye. Change our Constitution to remove all references to the Crown and make the Australian Courts ultimately responsible for our laws. Strip the Governor General of any power to meddle in politics, maybe change the title to chancellor or something; I reckon president sounds to important. Passenger: So what about the flag and the head on the money? Taxi Driver: Get rid of them. Look, it's no big deal taking the Union Jack off our flag. Die hard followers of St George probably had kittens when they were told that St Andrew's cross was to go on as well and God knows what they felt when St Patrick jumped on. It's not our own flag. It's a flag which symbolises a small outpost of the British Empire under the southern sky. It's not relevant anymore to have the Union Jack on our flag but the rest of the flag is just fine. I know some people will think this disrespectful to Australians who have died under our current flag but it is not so. Many countries of the world have updated their flags for one reason or another, there's no harm in it. As far as the money goes, we could put the head of the Australian of the Year on the coins for that year or something like that. Passenger: Thanks mate, I think I'll get off here.